Living an authentic life starts with a knowledge of who we are as human beings. Who are we as a person? What do we expect of ourselves? Where do we find purpose and meaning? How do we get there? Is it too late for me? These are all questions which all of us wrestle with. They are big questions, and our ability to answer them has profound implications on how we live out our lives. But when we feel lost or that we cannot answer these questions, we begin to experience turmoil and anxiety. We may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms to try to alleviate this anxiety, causing further feelings of being stuck. Experiences from our past and our own unhealthy responses to life may have led us to feel disempowered to even begin to answer these questions.
At it's heart, therapy is a vehicle for self-exploration, a way of delving into the true-self with compassion and curiosity, to find out what really makes us "tick". It provides a way of cutting through all of the unhealthy narratives we may have developed about ourselves, to discover the true human person underneath it all. And once we do that, we find we have the ability to shape our experience of life as we so choose.
Whether you are experiencing depression, anxiety, feelings of helplessness or despair, there is hope of something greater. If you are plagued by negative self-talk which says "I'm not good enough", "I'm not worthy", or "I'm not lovable", then I would challenge you to simply consider that these statements might just be false. If you are ready to begin the journey to being the person that you want to be, to meet life on life's terms with resolve and purpose, then I would be honored to walk alongside you in that process.
Couples Therapy
Without a doubt, marriage is one of the most difficult of life's challenges. You take two people, from different family backgrounds, with different ways of doing things, differing sets of life experiences, and put them in a home and tell them to go make a life together. Throw a kid or three on top, and what could go wrong? Well, frankly, a lot! And that is not even to mention the unique and complex challenges involved in a blended family situation.
But it is perfectly natural for couples to struggle from time to time. In fact, as both a married man and a therapist, I worry far more about relationships when couples tell me that they never fight. All that tells me is that they are not really dealing with anything of substance. True and authentic relationship, however, will always result in conflict, because the two people in the relationship never stop being individuals. What matters is how we manage that conflict. If we manage it well, we will experience safety with each other, which will lead to the ability to be vulnerable, and that vulnerability is what leads to intimacy and truly knowing the other person in a deep way that is both sustaining and fulfilling. To love, and to be loved, as we truly are, is one of the greatest sources of meaning and comfort that we can experience in life.
At the end of the day, marriage takes a lot of effort and courage to pull off well. There are no shortcuts or easy ways about it. At some point, just about every couple will experience a significant threat to marital harmony. For some, they may decide to seek outside help to navigate through the relational and emotional stressors that marriage can bring. This need is not a sign of failure on the part of the individuals in the marriage relationship, but rather presents a a hopeful desire that it can be better, and an opportunity for deepened emotional intimacy and authenticity. If you are having trouble in your marriage, or are simply wanting to deepen the relationship through better communication, I would be honored to be a part of your journey to a healthier and more fulfilling marriage.
Premarital Counseling
There are few things as exciting in life as contemplating marriage to that special person. It is a point when when the couple have gotten to know each other enough to begin thinking about making a life together. They begin to think about a shared vision for their lives, and start the process of intertwining the their individual threads into a unique and beautiful tapestry of their own making. They know that there will be trials and hardship ahead, but the cost is far outweighed by the prospect of engaging in such a meaningful pursuit, to walk through life alongside another person who will come to know them better than anyone else ever could. The finest and most powerful aspects of humanity are given expression; hope, the desire to love another, and to be loved.
The decision to enter into marriage is not one to take lightly. It represents a lifelong commitment to one another, for better or for worse. With close to fifty percent of marriages ending in divorce, it is important for each person in the relationship to weight the costs, and to make a well-informed decision. It is for this reason that pre-marital counseling exists. Pre-marital counseling provides a way for the couple to really learn about each other, themselves as individuals, and how to play to their strengths together, while gaining guidance on how to manage their growth areas in a way that creates togetherness.
Pre-marital counseling is not therapy, and so is approached in a differently. It can be done over a few sessions with just a single couple, or in a group setting. It is suitable for both couples entering first-time marriages, and those who are getting remarried. Please reach out for details and to go over your specific situation. If a wedding is already scheduled, please allow at least two months for premarital counseling before the wedding date.
Fees and Insurance Information
My fee schedule is $120 per 50-minute session, sliding scale available upon request. I currently accept Blue Cross Blue Shield of Alabama and United Healthcare.
